Monday, November 7, 2016

Verse for the Week: 

1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV); Let all that you do be done in love.

Topic: “Tough Conversations”

When was the last time you had a really tough conversation with someone?

Sometimes in life and especially in a program like MomsHope, there are tough conversations to be had. Gut wrenching convo’s about money, parenting, relationships—you name it, it’s just the tough stuff of life.

Even the thought of being confronted might cause you to start sweating and run for the nearest exit. But you can relax. I promise, no tough stuff today.

My intention is to prepare you for the next time you encounter a challenging conversation and equip you to respond in love.

Why do we need to respond in love?

Because God’s word calls us to a higher standard of living—“Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14).

That my friend is a pretty hefty request. But the cool thing about scripture is that it has the power to shift our perspective on the difficult stuff of life—even dealing with tough conversations in love.

The Lord tends to use these uncomfortable interactions in our lives to challenge us to grow in deeper places of authenticity in order to achieve a more integrated faith-life balance.

These growth opportunities often come through Godly mentors and friends who challenge us in an area where we possibly need some adjustment and growth.

But even when a tough conversation is presented in love, we tend to take offense, shy away, or push back with vigor. It’s just human nature. Our ego’s get bruised, and our defenses quickly erect a thick wall of protection. When this happens, anger takes a front seat even before the conversation has time to develop.

So how can we prepare our hearts and minds to receive all that God wants to give us through the difficult process of tough conversations?

We can start by encouraging each other to let all that we do be done in love. And how do we do that? We start by incorporating the three P’s of tough conversations: Pause, Ponder, and Pray.

First, we should always take a moment to “pause”. Stop a knee jerk reaction and take a long, deep breath. This practice requires us to tame our tongues—a painful but powerful tool. In doing so, we allow room for the Holy Spirit to soften the blow and infuse an overarching sense of peace in the midst of an emotionally chaotic and charged situation.

Second, it’s important to take time to “ponder”. Although this is difficult, it is also very necessary to take the issue to the mat and test what is true and worthy of our attention. At this point, it is a good rule of thumb to clarify what you are hearing from your mentor or friend, possibly even a boss. Repeat back what you heard so both of you are on the same page. Then, as you ponder what has been said, truth has time to do its work from the inside out.

And the most important practical step when dealing with tough conversations is to “pray”. Pray for ears to hear and wisdom to discern what is true. Pray for insight and a tamed tongue. Pray for a response that glorifies God and reflects a spirit of dignity. Pray for transformation. I can’t emphasize it enough—pray because prayer changes everything.

Prayer can and will move you beyond the pain and discomfort of the interaction to the bigger purpose: Christ-centered personal growth. And that is a very good thing!

Prayer:

Lord, prepare me for the tough conversations up ahead. Bless me with the ability to pause, ponder and pray. Give me truth, direction, and the courage to change. I want to be all you have created and called me to be.Thank you for putting wise and Godly people in my life that I can trust in this process. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Reflect and Respond:

Next time you find yourself in a difficult conversation, choose to pause, ponder, and pray. Challenge yourself to respond from a place of love and heed the call for growth and transformation.

Remember, you are not alone. Be blessed this week as you let all that you do be done in love.

Dori