In the next week, the following major milestones will occur: My twins turn 16, my daughter is taking her driving test (yikes), and I am dropping my oldest son off at college. That’s just a lot, isn’t it?

So as I prepare for the overwhelming change about to flood my familiar, I can’t ignore the competing emotions taking up residence in my heart—pride and sadness, excitement and fear. They swirl around my head and in my heart challenging me to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry.

Let’s face it, life is flat-out complicated. We are constantly approached by life’s tough circumstances as opponents to be met in the ring, and undeniably someone or something is going down.

Truthfully, this is where we so often land, don’t we? Standing in the middle of competing emotions and begging to tap out!

The big question is how willing are you to trust God over your disappointment, heartache, rejection, affliction? This was the question Jacob wrestled with on his journey back to Canaan where he was about to come face to face with his past and an identity he could no longer deny (Read the entire account in Genesis 32).

Unfortunately, trust is hard when you have trust issues. Please tell me I’m not the only one?!

So many stories throughout the Bible are fraught with complicated and competing emotions: Moses wrestled with purpose and doubt. Job wrestled with heartache and hope. Esther wrestled with burden and fear. Daniel wrestled with the culture and commitment. David wrestled with passion and submission. Jacob wrestled with himself and God.

Sometimes our opponent is a foe, and sometimes a friend.  Other times, we are battling ourself with past mistakes, negative patterns of behavior, or an identity we desperately want to shake. And then there are those halting times you find yourself wrestling with God.

Ultimately, there are some places you can only go with God!! These are sacred, personal, pivotal moments that cause us to pause and capture the gravity of a choice to be made and you have to stop because the moment is so arresting it calls for your full attention.

These are moments of decision where hope and fear coexist, joy and sadness clash, and where pain and purpose pound together like large drops of rain. In the end, when the fight is in its final stages, we have a choice to make. Our will or His?

Setting God on the throne allows us to filter our pain through His love for us. Then and only then are we able to see the joy that can only be found when we realize God has something important for us on the other side of that painful circumstance.

Like Jacob, when we wrestle with God we are not only blessed but we are changed. It strengthens our faith, deepens our identity, and solidifies a state of internal peace we could not find without submitting to His will. This, my friend, is the blessing in the battle.

Reflect and Respond:

How about you? What are you wrestling with right now? What takes up space in the room, turns you inside out and upside down? What weighs so heavy on your heart that you find yourself wrestling through the wreckage of it into the wee hours of the night?

If you’re ready, it’s time to accept the challenge and enter the ring. Hold on to God tightly; don’t give up and don’t miss the blessing. You will be forever changed by it.

Remember, you are not alone. Fight the good fight and don’t miss the blessing!